History and Healing

Through my work with The Soul Focused Group, a human solidarity organization, I have been gifted and earned the beautiful opportunity to share the construction of America as a Lead Facilitator. The real one. In our first stage of our workshop series we discuss a process of unveiling those ideas that have been so deeply hidden. Through this achievement, I have given the delicious opportunity to share history through our professional development sessions as a consultant with YogaRoots On Location a raja yoga school and organization. So many blessings! But it wasn’t always this way.  

I fought for years, with myself, on learning history because of how it felt in my body while reading. Remembering. Stuck. Inflamed. Mad as hell! How could I read the trauma of my ancestors and not break down?! With every word, it felt like I was there with them. Exhausted. I would begin and literally have to take a nap after 15 minutes of reading. How could I change the way I was learning? How could I make this process restorative, less traumatic, while still experiencing the impact?How could I still feel it? Honoring my ancestors in my blood. Pulsating.  Heart beat. Inhale. Exhale. Pause. 

It was necessary for me to make a shift. First, I had to make sure I was nourished and rested. I thought about the things that I enjoy while I’m reading for my amusement. Anything that emulates a spa experience( my foot massager and shoulder massager, a mask, laying down etc), the sun, and a delicious cool sparkling water or sorrel is what I need to feel refreshed. Combining these delicious moments together I call “History and Healing”.

How do you honor your past and feel the impacts? This journey is a long one and there are still moments when I need to place the book I’m reading down and complete my six manipulations of the spine. Deep breathe in. Pause. For our ancestors. Exhale and honor the present. We have the opportunity to understand what was, so that we can create a new tomorrow.

Let's heal and create.

*The voice recording below was the first time I shared the history at a Soul Focused session

Gliding

How do you continue to move forward when the pain won’t go away? How do you respond when the pain is yelling at you, making its presence known? Pulsating. Throbbing. How do you continue to live each day with joy, knowing you will go to sleep in pain and wake up in pain? Tossing and turning through the night.

Due to my physical appearance, most folks do not know I’m experiencing constant pain. Even those closest to me, forget at times. This is my experience everyday and has been since I was hit by a car in 2019 two days after the New Year (three days after my 28th birthday). This intense occurrence happened to leave with me the blessing of a scraped knee and tender shoulder on the right side of my body. Initially. As the weeks progressed my neck began to throb, then my wrist.

When I was hit, I did not use the health insurance my school was paying for because I was on my way to view an apartment that I couldn’t afford. I was so desperate to move out of my friends place, I ran into the street trying to catch the bus... The way we run into ourselves, trying to run from ourselves. It’s been a journey of doctor visits, X-rays and physical therapy and still the pain persists. Lesser with each day and still present.

I’ve allowed my pain to ground me in this body. Adapting my physical practice to accommodate its needs. Rest is not an option but a necessity. My pain has liberated me from the bondage I once experienced working in a physical location that was structurally uncomfortable for me.

No more running! Slow down! I glide…

How are you gliding? How do you acknowledge the chronic pain of your experience? How are you allowing it to bring you deeper into yourself?